Let The Crazy Begin

Image of Sally Kern

State Rep. Sally Kern, the infamous, nationally-known legislator who claims homosexuality is more dangerous than terrorism, has introduced a bill that would allow students to brandish “a pastry or other food which is partially consumed in such a way that the remnant resembles a weapon.”

No, the above paragraph is not from The Onion. The quoted language is actually in the bill.

The bill, if passed and signed into law, would also allow students to bring toy guns to school, simulate gunplay with their fingers, imitate gun sounds and wear clothing supporting gun rights. It would also allow students to draw or possess images of guns and other weapons or use “a pencil, pen or other writing utensil to simulate a weapon.”

Bang bang, shoot em up, kids. You’re so incredibly adorable when you fake like you’re killing someone. The Lost Ogle has an lively take on the issue.

House Bill 2351, introduced for the upcoming legislative session, has drawn a lot of media attention, of course, because it's just so weird and unneeded and shows just how senseless and useless some elements of the Republican-led legislature have become.

The bill could also have unintended consequences by blurring the lines between hostile, potentially violent students and Kern’s fanatical support for guns, which is shared by many of her Republican colleagues. What if an 18-year-old high school student, for example, forms their hand into a gun and points it menacingly at a teacher? Should that not have a consequence?

Kern, an Oklahoma City Republican, pictured right, has dubbed her bill the Common Sense Zero Tolerance Act, saying it was prompted by a case in Maryland in which a 7-year-old student was suspended from school for two days for chewing a Pop Tart into a gun shape. In response to the suspension, the National Rifle Association awarded the boy a lifetime membership and the gun fanatics in that state made a big deal about it.

Was the suspension a mistake? Who knows? I do know that it really isn’t a local issue and that a plethora of school shootings in recent years have made teachers and administrators justifiably paranoid in adopting no-tolerance rules about guns and their facsimiles.

Kern’s bill is a huge overreach and presupposes a problem that doesn’t exist here. It also, in theory, promotes child “gun play” at schools by codifying such activities into law. Why not also introduce a bill that allows students to play kickball during a recess or draw dinosaurs or play math games in classrooms?

This is a bill that needs to be withdrawn or die in the committee process. If it makes it to a full House vote, however, it will probably pass. I’m unsure how the state Senate or Gov. Mary Fallin might respond to it.

Republican leaders, including Fallin, should put pressure on Kern and other fanatical elements of the legislature to put a lid on their ideological nonsense for this upcoming session. The state faces numerous problems, including catastrophic underfunding for education. Making sure school kids can kill people—all in jest and great fun, of course—is as ridiculous as it gets.